Frustration

I spent three of my life dedicated to college in Brazil. I had no boyfriends or social life. I had an unknown number of nights that I couldn’t sleep.  I wrote a one hundred and seventy give page thesis and had to present to three hundred people in order to graduate. And now, all that sacrifice is worth nothing. Sometimes I really regret of moving up here. The U.S not only not recognizes my degree, but also doesn’t accept many of my credits. I overload them to be able to graduate sooner. I have a GPA of 3.7 and here I am worth nothing. I could teach Portuguese if I could, but nobody wants to learn it. Sometimes I wish I speak Spanish like many people think I do.  

Frustration is a big part of who I am now. I would like being a teacher, but I know I will never write in English as I do in Portuguese. It’s very difficult for me realizing that what I used to do the best was writing and in this country it can’t be appreciated, because I can’t write as I used to in this language. Thinking about that, I decided to try a carrier that wouldn’t require great writing skills. I tried computer science.  I had an introduction to programming course and found out that I have no patience for fixing computer’s bugs. I gave up two of my classes and kept my English one. The one that I know I will never be very good at it.

It just feels wrong to me that I don’t feel useful for this country. All my expertise isn’t valued here. If I was in Brazil I could be working in multinational company helping Brazilian company to do International business. I would be helping my country grow and I would be feeling good about myself.

Now I am trying to find out what ability can I add to the ones I already have that would give a job, a degree that would be recognized, and the feeling of satisfaction. What would I be good at in this nation? I need God’s guidance, because now I feel like the biggest loser.